Life doesn’t change, but people do. So learn to accept that not everybody is who you thought you knew.
I need to open my eyes and see who’s really there for me.
Untitled on We Heart It
my boss told me i didnt have to but if i wanted to come in at 4am tomorrow it would be helpful
Fuck you bitch.
He’s mine and I get all the love and attention, be jealous.
Now you just have to cry your life and never stand a chance ever with him. Never.
Right by your side and watch you sleep while I’m in tears. Anticipated so much for the night and it had to end up this way.
I am learning to fall in love with my constant struggle in my university studies. This semester, i am coping better in terms of school work, good and bad actually. Firstly, because i have lesser modules, means i get a shorter school week hence, i tend to slacken and lose balance between my school work and play time. Since my boyfriend has a more flexible working schedule as he is on course for this month, we have been hanging out rather late and often this few months. Yes, i do regret for doing so, I am a gf who love spending time together with him, i mean which gf doesn’t. In addition, my girlfriends have seem to move on to the next episode of their adult life thus we are unable to catch up together. I feel alone sometimes, his company, my only companion makes me feel happy and comfortable. Somewhere which i find ultimate comfort and where i can run away from all the trouble.
The final examination is approaching and its nothing new that i become stress all over again thinking if i really do belong here and if this is what i really want in life. Been questioning myself was i being too ambitious wanting to have a university degree from a public school. It tougher than i could ever imagine. I am halfway through my 3 semester and another 3 more to graduation. At this moment, my grades have been declining, seems like no matter how hard i try (or maybe not hard enough, but this is really how much i am willing to fight for). I am utterly demoralized when everyone else around is Always doing better than I do! even when i spend so much more effort in my work, they could just score higher or much better effortlessly. I know i’m not good at expressing my words affluently, I can’t write great essays which I am expected of. I spend a day getting stuck on a paragraph and seeing my peers logging in and out getting their work done within short period is extremely hurtful. I have to admit that sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off. The only reason I can rationalize it is to blame no one but myself. Not being able to brush up my writing skills, not focusing well enough in school and not good enough in this battle. I’m sad, I’m stress and I always feel alone in this. I am lost. A student who used to be the best back in tertiary school is now the weakest one struggling to pursue higher education. I’m lost in life i lose all my confidence even to speak to peers in university. I am at the verge of breaking down, but i can’t and I won’t. One day I will succeed, on the brighter side, if i does not do well in my degree, i could keep the cert and don’t use it for job interviews. I will never allow myself to get judged by a certification. I believe I may not be good in reading and writing but there is something better that awaits me, definitely. So i will push on! I will success, maybe not now, but one day.